Enjoying Today

Restlessness. I feel it so much. The world is mine to conquer right now, yet I feel restless. Not restless because I am stuck somewhere….but restless because I don’t know where to go….which direction to walk. I keep making plans. I keep getting anxious….and then, at the end of the day, I feel exhausted because I have spent my whole day worrying about what is next and if this or that would be a mistake. Gosh I hate that. I know what scripture says. “Be anxious about NOTHING, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thankfulness, make your requests known to God and HE will give you the desires of your heart.” I feel like I am screaming my requests to God and he is trying to answer but my anxiety gets in the way of hearing. I am trying to be still and calm…yet I keep moving, filling my time up and missing the point of what it really means to LEAN IN and listen. I know this is all so silly, but I just have to be honest with what is going on in my life…stubbornness and all.

I was talking to my mom last night on the phone. She is so sweet. LOVES me so much and believes in all God has for me. Of all people in my life on this earth, Margie Conner is my biggest fan. I absolutely adore her. She was talking to me about being still and a whole bunch of other stuff that I am sure was wise and great, but I just didn’t feel like hearing it, so I tuned her out. At one point I even pulled the phone away from my ear to watch the VP debate clips and what all the political analysts on the news stations had to say. As I put the phone back up to my ear to tell her I had to go, I heard these words…”Enjoy each day as it comes and make the best of what you have…no matter how crappy of a situation you are in, there is always something to be thankful for in it. You live in Colorado, one of the most beautiful places in our country, that alone should make you thankful and excited to enjoy the season God has you there…because you will miss it one day when you move. Your friends are great blessings…enjoy your time with them. In all things just enjoy today and let God handle the tomorrows. And know that you are NEVER stuck somewhere. You will not be here in this season forever and change is coming very soon.”

Gosh I needed that. I don’t have it so bad. So what, I don’t like my job….it pays the bills and I actually get to work alongside some pretty amazing people who believe in me and will be supporters in my ministry for the rest of my life. I have great friends who love me well and I love dearly, I get to wake up every morning and look out my bedroom window to see a view of Pikes Peak and I have had a blast living here. I live in a place that I have always viewed as a place of rest. A place I knew God would lead me one day for a season of rest and to hear from him. In no way, shape, or form have I taken advantage of that rest. I know God has BIG plans for me and I should probably be tapping into that rest right now because who knows when I will ever have this time again. Gosh, my passionate spirit can sometimes get a hold of me in the wrong way. I know God planted “world changing” passions there and I HAVE to believe that he will bring it all to fruition.

So here’s to having a blast in my time left here in CO. Here’s to great friends, many more adventures, laughs and excitement for what’s ahead of us. ENJOY TODAY and let God do the rest! Thanks Mom!